Traveling definitely changes when you’re a family of four. Traveling with kids is not the same as traveling without. I know that seems like a given but I feel like I truly understood this on our last vacation. Traveling with one child was great. Yes, we needed to coordinate naps and feedings and diaper changes but we were still able to fit in some ‘husband/wife time,’ whether that was lounging in Central Park or floating in a pool down south.
Two though- two is a game changer. I feel like I rarely saw my husband until the kids were asleep.. and then we followed suit on the couch shortly after. We traded off kids throughout the day and somehow created a schedule that incorporated two different nap routines, two different feeding times (and needs) and two different types of entertainment. At times it was frustrating: I wanted to be playing in the pool with our two year old but I was stuck in the cabana with a sleeping infant who had fallen asleep mid-feed. My husband wanted to be napping in the cabana, hiding from the sun, but his lack of breast-milk meant he was playing in the pool: full sun. The ratio was one parent to one child which seems fair but sometimes felt the opposite based on our own selfish vacation desires. Either way, we were both envying each other….from afar.
Luckily, our family was in an all-inclusive which meant that our food was taken care of and there was someone to clean up after us. We were also in a suite so the boys had two different sleeping spaces. We had a diaper area, a feeding area and a living room where we could set up a space to play. This was huge, a God sent if you will, and to be honest, I am nervous about sharing a smaller traditional style resort room with both of them on our next beach adventure – (I will report back on how this goes).
Don’t get me wrong: We had a great time and I genuinely enjoyed my children. I think this was the first time my husband saw the baby smile for an extended period of time. (Their time together usually consists of a grumpy pre-bedtime hour full of tears and screams). We ate some fabulous meals, spent some quality time with the kids and enjoyed being in the warm sun. We rode a train, saw peacocks, fed turtles and swam and swam and swam and swam….We laughed (and some of us cried), played in the sand, lounged in cabanas, swam in the ocean and splashed in the pool. After a -35 degree winter, it was exactly what we needed.
But did I get time to read the magazine article I had been saving? Did I relax into my husband’s arms and watch the stars? Did I go dancing to the live band? Did I play in casino? Did I float carelessly in the ocean? Did I savour a meal and leisurely sip my wine? That’s a resounding NO. I did none of those things.
But that is okay.
I understand that as a parent, family vacations have changed and they will continue to change as the kids grow. The type of adventures we have, the games we play, the laughter we share, will all change. The focus is no longer on my tan but on protecting my kids from the sun (this is huge with blonde kids, I’m discovering), playing with them in the water and guiding their discovery of new and exciting people, places and experiences. One day, my beautiful boys won’t want to play in the pool with me at all. I am going to soak up all of the love my littles want to give me now.
That doesn’t, however, absolve me of the need for a vacation where I CAN read a book, savour a meal, fall asleep in the sun and float carelessly in the ocean. I need those too.
But was this vacation better? Worse? No- it was different…and I’m okay with that. Different is good. As with everything, our family vacations will change. And change is good, donkey.
We stayed at The Level @ Melia Caribe Resort, Punta Cana